Growing

I came across a poem tonight that so describes how I feel lately.

Cleaning and Scrubbing can wait until tomorrow

For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs, Dust go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

It is so true. My babies are growing so quickly. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder where the time went. Just today I told Ron, "look at Eli, just watch him." "He has grown so much in such a short time."

I often mention how I want to keep them just as they are. I love the baby and toddler age. I love the innocence and those big eyes full of wonder. I love the pleasure and delight in learning a new trick.

A big part of me is sad to know that I will never hold another newborn of my own. No, I don't want to be pregnant again and no I honestly don't want a newborn right now (I enjoy my uninterrupted sleep), but I also know that there is no going back to those days. No holding a quiet newborn and nestling him/her in my arms. Soon, no more nursing a growing baby and having one who is completely dependant. How quickly that time goes by.

My heart hurts as I wonder if I am doing this mothering thing right. Here I am with 4 chances to get it right and yet I worry, am I doing things everyday and every moment that are best for them. I'm sure there are days when the answer would be no, although I hope that most often I do the right thing when it comes to mothering my brood. I love my babies.

My encouragement is that I am raising them for Jesus. Praise the Lord I have Him on my side and all around me as I nurture these young growing children He has entrusted me with. I'm not sure how mothers of young ones do it without Jesus. There are day when I wonder if I will make it to dinnertime and then there are days when I hope dinnertime never comes.

Jesus, Help me as I raise Ronnie, Nathaniel, Eli and Maddie for you. Help me to lead them to you and help me to grow in you as they grow. Help me to live in the present and prepare them for the future. Help to me to keep my focus on You and allow You to teach all of us. Amen.