This morning I grabbed a book off the bookshelf that I have had for several years, but had never gotten past the first chapter (due to lack of time, rather than content). My intention was to figure out how to get Eli to sit quietly in church without being a distraction. (Truthfully that sentence right there should tell you I was in for a rude awakening, but it really was my intention). Seriously though Ronnie and Nathaniel do a pretty good job 99% of the time. When they were younger, Ron and I made a point to have them in church (rather than a nursery or children's Church) and have them not be a distraction to those around us. There were times when we were challenged by "well intentioned" church members who thought we were abusing our children by requiring them to sit still for an hour, but for the most part we have been rewarded for our efforts. They both sit quietly during Sunday worship.
Eli... well that is different. He is just now 2 1/2 and so for the last year of his life (which is a lot to a 2 1/2 year old), Ron has been up front on Sunday mornings and not able to help me teach Eli to be quiet and sit still in the church service.
So, this morning I pulled out the book, "Parenting in the Pew" by Robbie Castleman. Have you read it?
I was slightly taken back to find out that my goal should not be to teach him to be quiet, but rather that I should be teaching him to worship. Wow, was I shocked to find out that I needed to correct my approach before beginning to correct my son's behavior.
I was slightly taken back to find out that my goal should not be to teach him to be quiet, but rather that I should be teaching him to worship. Wow, was I shocked to find out that I needed to correct my approach before beginning to correct my son's behavior.
My problem was and is that I have been teaching my children to "behave" in church, but I have neglected to teach them to Worship. In fact I am so worried about how distracting they might be that I don't even truly worship on Sunday mornings.
Castleman references the scripture in Luke 19:37-40 where the crowd of disciples began to joyfully praise God in loud voices...some of the Pharisees told Jesus to rebuke his disciples. Jesus replied to them that if they keep quiet the stones would cry out. So, Parenting in the pew is the process of putting a few rocks out of work.
It really is a great book, so far. I read nearly half the book while Maddie slept this morning and the boys played outside.
There are several things I have learned and can share with you if you're interested. I still need to think through how to "teach" my boys with having 2 services every Sunday. We are now allowing them to go to children's Church during the second service and use that time as their Sunday School. I'm not sure that we should change that, but I am anxious to begin to put into practice the things that I am learning.
It really is baffling to me how I have expected my children to worship in the past and I desire them to be in relationship with Jesus and to truly worship Him and yet I have not lead them in that practice.
5 comments:
To whom ever is reading this: Jan is an awesome Mom and her kids behave great in church. Eli is a great kid.
Jan, Can I read that book when your done? And yes you should blog more on this subject. I'm the one who should read more on that subject.
i'd love to read it sometime 2!
No Problem, I hope to be done with it this weekend, so I can pass it on to you, Chris. Then when you finsih I can mail it to my sis!
Although to both of you, there is a section that says that she began all of this with her own kids at age 4. Until that time they were in the nursery or children's church. Not sure what you do with that, but at age 4 she deems them ready to being to be taught to worhsip. You both might have a few years before that milestone, I"m late!
That is an interesting concept. We have always put out children in the nursery until age 2, then they sat with us until they started junior church at around age 4. Our personal rule is that after first grade, our children then have to sit with us in church again.
My SIL and BIL keep their children with them all the time as do you. It has made me think a little more on why we do what we do.
Now you have given me even more food for thought. Do my children really know what it means to worship? I am not sure.
Anne,
I know for a fact that I have not taught my boys to "woship" in church. We have never talked about that. It is a new thing and something I am excited to begin talking about and participating with them in.
Keep me posted on your own thought process and what you think!
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